alternately titled: Mama takes a test drive!

I drive a Ford, my giant VanBeast.  That thing is like a tank. Gets the gas mileage of a tank, too.

So, when Ford invited me down for drinks and snacks and a look at the new cars, I said “no kids allowed? I’m there.”  Sometimes you just need a break.  And while I’m not a car person, really, I can appreciate driving around with that new vehicle smell and a lack of empty cups and muddy sweaters between the seats.

Now, as you know, we’ve been a one-van family for quite a while.  Which mostly works out OK, but it’s an aggravation if I need a vehicle for the day.  And we’ve decided we really need to become a two-car family.

My husband, being a red blooded male (yes, I’ve checked, don’t worry, no one needed stitches), wants either a motorcycle or a truck.  He uses a lot of tools in his work, and a truck would come in handy.  I outright reject the motorcycle, even if it does get stellar gas mileage, because maybe- just maybe- I would want to drive something besides a 15 passenger van once in a while, and how can I get groceries or take a baby to the doctor on a motorcycle?  Besides, what’s hubs going to do, strap his tool bag to his back?

(Ford actually makes a Harley Davidson edition F-150.  Shh. Don’t tell him.  I’m holding out for the day that Ford makes a Merry Maids edition, I’d buy that one. But only if it comes fully staffed.)

Anyway, I decided to test out the new Ford F-150.  Sweet!  My friend Sara and I were together, and she drove first so I ended up in the extended cab.  It was raining, dark, and I only had my cell phone camera so I brazenly took publicity stills from the Ford site.  Just in case you were wondering how my photo skillz improved 15,000% overnight.

Now let me tell you, the last “extended cab” I’d ever been in was back in the 90s, where you had approximately 8″ of room to perch on a little fold down seat.  Crushed between the front bench and the back windshield, you hoped it wasn’t a long ride because your knees were up by your shoulders, meaning you couldn’t feel your toes after a while.

I am happy to report that things have gotten bigger and better since those days.  The back seat of the F-150 is bigger than the back seat in my van.  Very roomy, and plenty of room for car seats, even the rear facing ones.  It’s an actual bench seat (that can fold down if you need cargo space) back there.  With actual upholstery and actual leg room.  Sweet!

Then I got to drive.  It didn’t feel “trucky” at all.  You know what I’m talking about, how you have to haul yourself up into the driver seat, then bounce all over when you hit a bump.  In fact, I forgot I was driving a truck until I had to turn in tight quarters- and then it was the front that reminded me how big it was.  Yeah, the engine’s huge.  Probably there’s a joke in there.

I would tell you about the Ford Mustang which looked awesome, but I can’t drive a stick.  So I just gazed from afar and imagined myself in the driver seat.  Then I realized if I did have a sporty little car like that, I’d be a hot mess like Tea Leoni in Spanglish when she was in the convertible.  Because that’s what I do – I compare myself to imaginary film characters in order to console myself during disappointments.

All thoughts of truckiness and sportiness flew out of my mind when the Ford salesman started talking about the new Ford Explorer.

It has automatic parallel parking.

Shut the front door.  Seriously?  You’re downtown, you finally find a spot where you can use quarters to pay instead of shelling out $5 at a seedy gravel lot, you push a button, and the vehicle parks itself?  Awesomesauce.

I am a terrible parallel parker.  About the only time I even attempt it in the VanBeast is if I can see myself in a store window reflection.  Last weekend, I had to go down to a shop in Rice Village and holy moly, was that a parking experience.  The new feature is called “Active Parking Assist“.

Then we talked to Scott Monty, who does Ford’s social media.  I actually “knew” him, since I’ve followed his blog and twitter for months. (Check him out if you’re a social media nerd like I am.)  Anyway, Scott started talking about the new Ford Flex, which to be honest I had never heard of.  It’s a crossover, which basically means “minivan light” or “station wagon on steroids”.  I might have to check that one out.  Scott’s wife loves hers, and it seats 7.  The seats fold down for  grocery hauling.

Meanwhile, I’ll dream of the day when Ford creates a vehicle that not only parks itself, but knows how to drive itself home after a long day.  Then maybe I’ll finally get a nap once in a while.

What options does does your dream car have?

Blogging with Integrity: I wasn’t paid for this post, though I did go to a test drive event for bloggers.  I just thought the features were cool. And we seriously need another car. 

Tagged as: Ford, VanBeast