No TV, and No Boredom Busters

The TV got broken.  It involved a teenager, a temper, and lack of impulse control.

We spend a couple of years without cable, but never without TV altogether.  We watched movies and had a Netflix membership, and could watch shows through our PS3.

No TV is different.  We actually are virtually electronic free right now- our desktop computer isn’t working, so no internet or games for the kids.  The TV is down – and so is the PlayStation.  My kindle is also on the fritz.

We’re are being dragged kicking and screaming into a electronic free world.  Going cold turkey.

Although if you asked me about it, I would have said we don’t watch that much TV.  Husband usually has it on but most of the kids don’t spend hours parked in front of it (maybe because hubs fave show is Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives- not exactly riveting for a 6 year old.)

But the reality is, we did watch a lot of TV.  And I did use it as a crutch.  When Miss A and Mr X started getting out of control, with wild horseplay- I’d ask one of the kids to find them a show.  When one of the older kids grumbled about doing chores around the house, I’d soothe them with a promise that they could pick out something to watch.  (When you have a big family, getting to pick the show is a high privilege, indeed!)

We were using TV as a medication, a bandaid to cover gaps in child training and character formation.

TV Free Week is a popular item on parenting blogs.  If you browse Pinterest, you can find hundred of pins listing 10, 50, or 101 things to do without TV.  Those things are useful, in a way.  Smart mamas always have something they can pull out of their sleeve when the kids desperately need some sort of direction.

But, in essence, often the TV Free activities are merely a substitution.  It’s replacement entertainment- instead of Phineas and Ferb, it’s Mom making paint out of milk and KoolAid packets on a cookie sheet, then setting up a pre-planned activity. The kids just need to show up.

Filler activities that still have no useful purpose.  It makes Mom the primary entertainer, rather than the primary teacher.

Time spent with parents is a good thing.  However, I am of the unpopular opinion that time spent with parents should not always be kid-centered.  I think it’s vital for kids to see their parents at work, and to be brought alongside that work.

Mindless entertainment is like cotton candy.  Occasionally a fun treat, but you can’t live on it.  You shouldn’t have it every day, and too much causes ill effects.

It is not my responsibility to entertain my child.  It’s my duty to teach them to become responsible adults.  And so, I find myself rejecting the lists of Boredom Busters that require Mom (me!) to orchestrate grand projects, gather supplies, make templates, purchase special items (and then clean up after it all.)

Certainly, there is much value in child’s play.  But I’m rebelling.  I’m letting child’s play be child’s play.  This is not to say that I don’t enjoy a tea party or two.  Coloring?  I’m all over that.  But otherwise?  I’m leaving my kids to their own devices.

To play their own games.  Yes, this means that Mr X will have to be both the tan and the green army men in his game.  This means that Miss V will have to provide voices for the Littlest Pet Shop bunny and the LPS dogs.  The kids are more than welcome to devise their own milk paint experiments- doing it themselves, including cleanup.  (That’s not mindless entertainment, that’s rudimentary project management and planning.  Good skills to develop!)

And since I’m not handing them entertainment on a silver platter, it means that they will have to entertain themselves.

It means that my kids might just get bored.

Is there value to boredom?

I think so.  Because essentially, boredom is space.  Breathing room.

Room for the mind to wander.  Room to create individual thoughts, form individual opinions.  Room to grow.

Do you let your kids get bored, or do you avoid it at all costs?

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Works for Me Wednesday 

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  • susie c. May 29, 2012 8:26 am edit

    My kids were kids back in the 80′s–before the earth cooled and at the dawn of the electronic age. We had a betamax, pac man and later on gameboys etc. During the summers I used to have to bribe them to come IN and watch TV (fresh lemonade, peanut butter and crackers, cool house, please come in). They spent their lives outside playing. We had a big fenced lot, very shady. Bikes, dogs, tire swings, an electric car, swing set, monkey bars, plastic swimming pool, other sisters. And yes, it was hot. They never seemed to notice. Never a dull moment at the homestead. The one thing I did insist on was structure during the summer. Sleep till 9am, breakfast, play, lunch, play, nap, play, dinner, play, TV-we did have Nick at Night. Swim lessons and later tennis at the park and trips to the library. I never felt compelled to entertain.

    One time we spent a week in Arkansas on top of a mountain with no phone or TV. No one complained or missed it.

    Reply
  • Andrea@hopefulhousewife May 30, 2012 12:08 pm edit

    I love this. When I joined the WFMW today, I deliberated whether or not to repost an article I wrote about “Summer Fun” years ago. I then decided that I would keep it real. We dont do Mama made entertainment (anymore). I think my post sounded a bit mean, but I dont intend for it to. I guess I just feel like there is no reason to be constantly ENTERTAINED. I have no problem telling my kids that….and heaven help them if they say “I’m bored”. As I state in my post today, Its not possible to be bored on 7 acres in a 5 bedroom house. not.possible.
    We stated, Mama!!
    p.s. love your Mother Teresa quote :)

    Reply
  • Jessica May 30, 2012 8:06 pm edit

    I need to let my kids work with me more. I noticed the other day that my five year old often asks me if he can help, and too many times I say no. Thanks for the reminder that our kids need to work alongside us!

    Reply
  • Sarah June 1, 2012 9:01 am edit

    Love this! I totally agree that our job as mothers/parents is not to entertain our kids but to help them become responsible adults. I have been going in circles however because mine are 1 & 3 and still learning how to play together. We go on a play date, and then DD comes home spoiled and can’t seem to figure out how to play with herself the rest of the day. Thanks for the encouragement.

    Reply
  • Martha June 1, 2012 6:34 pm edit

    I grew up on a farm, and I only said that I was bored once. Before I knew it, I was in the barn, knee deep in cow manure, filling up the back of the manure spreader. I never said that I was bored again! The other day, when my daughter came to me, complaining of boredom, I wished that I had a cattle barn.

    You are right about letting the kids entertain themselves, and not having Mom do it all of the time. There is a lot to be learned by yourself, and bored moments are great for this.

    Reply
  • kat June 3, 2012 4:52 am edit

    Right now we live on a 40 acre farm in Maine with no TV (haven’t had commercial TV in 15 years) and 6 kids. The only computer is Mommy’s and is off limits. Our other house (which we are selling) has a TV monitor which we use to watch movies, but once the TV comes up here I’m thinking of locking it up and only allowing access on Friday nights. It is just too easy to allow the little ones to sit and veg so I can get school done with the big ones. Instead, they spend all day outside making tree houses, playing in the gravel with dump trucks, reading, and making their own fun. I have made it plain that Mommy is not the entertainment committee. Amazingly they really like living here, despite the hardships.

    Reply
  • Grandma Margie June 7, 2012 9:02 pm edit

    Good for you, MHM! Kids need to learn to play at the things that they think up. When I was a kid, 100 years ago or so, we had no TV. Summers we spent swimming, playing games, card games, board games, outdoor games like hide ‘n seek and kick the can, jacks, jump rope, roller skating, riding bikes, etc. When it was too hot, we played games inside. I even played games with my older brother, who beat me every time. Moms shouldn’t have to entertain their children.

    Reply
  • Liz T June 8, 2012 2:14 pm edit

    Thanks you! I always thought there was something wrong with me because I could never make myself join the Mommy Entertainment Society. I’ve raised two kids, 16 years apart (two ‘onlys’) and was shocked after I had the second to find I was doing things the same way I did the first time, after telling myself for years that if I had it to do over again, it would be different. No, it wasn’t.

    I do still rely on electronica too much (I’m a computer geek) but my kids are fairly self-directed. So glad to hear I’m not the only one feeling like the Mommy version of Julie from Love Boat is out of control. (Am I showing my age by referring to Love Boat? Probably…)

    Reply
  • Marcia @Frugal Healthy Simple June 8, 2012 8:58 pm edit

    This is awesome! It’s a constant struggle to get my 6 year old to entertain himself. I remember my mom telling me to “go outside” when I was bored. And if I said “I don’t want to go outside” she said “then be bored”.

    Reply

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Desperately thrifty mom of 9, sharing my frugal tips, easy shortcuts, recipes, and thoughts on natural living and real food.

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