Last week Mr S had his 8th birthday party, and he wanted an ice cream cake. They’re expensive, though, and we also needed it to be dye free. Most bakeries can’t even comprehend “dye-free”, so that meant making our own.
The cake part went well – I’m an old pro at baking cakes – but the ice cream part was more difficult. To make an ice cream cake, you have to fill a cake pan with ice cream. Even though my ice cream was half melted, the core was a solid chunk of ice and refused to spread.
So I washed up and used my hands. It worked well, much better than the spoon and icing spatula I had been using. I was able to feel my fingertips again eventually, too.
Up to my elbows – literally- in ice cream? The Glamour of a SAHMer.
Shared joys are increased, and shared sorrows are decreased. And sometimes, when are mom up to her elbows in the third body fluid of the day, you just want a shout out from someone who understands.
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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
Any thoughts on how to deal with it when the toddler is misbehaving deliberately BECAUSE he feels like crap? I feel like I ought to be comforting him, but I know I can’t let bad behavior go ignored.
Cranky toddlers are tough! On the one hand, little ones must learn the important lesson that what they do affects others and they can’t just do whatever they want, or treat others poorly, just because they feel bad. On the other hand, everyone is cranky when they are sick, and when adults have trouble keeping their temper and not snapping, how much harder must it be for toddlers?
You must make boundaries clear, and disapprove of behavior, but all discipline must be most especially tempered with mercy and grace.
I would first of all tell you that you are the mother, and you know your child better than anyone else, certainly better than someone on the internet who doesn’t know you or him or your temperaments. Trust yourself and be mindful in your discipline.
Second, now is the time for a hefty dose of preventive parenting. Now is the time to anticipate problems and head them off at the pass, the time to relax rules a bit (perhaps this is the time to allow eating on the couch or more TV or baths for as long as he wants.) You might have to postpone other tasks – even necessary tasks – in order to spend more time with your little one, just holding or reading the same story over and over or whatever soothes him, makes him feel safe and loved. Even if it’s inconvenient and you have other things that are pressing. People before things.
Third, I would encourage you to pray. Pray for the special graces to parent your child at this particular stage and in these circumstances. Pray for wisdom to discern what your son really can’t help and when he’s taking advantage of your sympathies and actually being naughty. Pray for patience and forbearance.
Thanks for your thoughts. There’s definitely been a lot of prayer going on around here!
Your thought about preventive parenting was very useful (although I had to do a face-palm that it hadn’t occurred to me!). I’ve been so focused on helping ds connect action and consequence that I often forget about preventing trouble. So that has been a real help today.
At the same time that I know I’m his mother and that I know him and our family dynamic better than anyone else, he’s also like no toddler I’ve ever met. He doesn’t like to be held, for example. So I don’t have a lot in my toolbox for him beyond sheer improvisation–especially since I’m about 10,000 miles away from a family that really doesn’t know what to do with toddlers anyway (or has forgotten because it was 40 years ago). I’m kind of on my own that way, so I read what other moms do (especially moms of many) to try to get ideas and hope some of them will work.
Anyway, enough of my bellyaching! Thanks for the advice and encouragement!
Hi Rachel,
I’ve had one of those too – the most UN snuggly baby ever! He just likes to be his own person. He still is very independent and self reliant. One never fail activity that captivates my kids for hours, and seems to calm them, is the kitchen sink. Mine LOVE to stand at the sink and either play or “wash” dishes, make soap suds, pour, splash, give their toys all a bath, etc. Just put a big towel down under their stool, LOL! Something else that was distracting and calming is a rice or bean bin – put rice/oatmeal/cornmeal/etc. in a plastic tub or even a shoebox, and use forks to draw in the “sand”, run cars in, or just let it slip through your fingers. Kind of like a Japanese rock garden, or mini-sandbox. Good as long as your toddler isn’t a flinger, if you know what I mean. Sometimes little ones just need to get their mind off themselves when they are cranky so distractions are helpful.
Yep. Ds recently discovered the sink.