Kristen at We Are THAT Family shares this YouTube

Click here to view the embedded video.

Via The Anchoress

A church that doesn’t provoke any crisis, a gospel that doesn’t unsettle, a Word of God that doesn’t get under anyone’s skin, what kind of gospel is that? Preachers who avoid every thorny matter so as not to be harassed do not light up the world! ~ Bishop Oscar Romero

Mother Teresa says:

Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.

Christ says:

A new commandment I give unto you: That you love one another, as I have loved you, that you also love one another.  By this shall all men know that you are my disciples…

John 13:34-35

I take these things and ponder them in my heart.  Do I believe?  Do I really believe?

As I search out where to erect boundaries, maybe I need to search out where I tear them down.

By This All Will Know… originally appeared on Mama Says on May 28, 2010. If you see this posted on any other site, please let me know! Leave me a comment on www.milehimama.com

It’s been months since the Christmas gifts have been scattered to the four winds.  Time to muck out the playroom.  I think everyone’s spring cleaning right now. I was just tweeting with a friend about getting rid of too many toys.

What’s the best way to winnow down the toys?  I recently read of one mommyblogger who took away all electronic entertainment, all plastic toys, tossed things with lots of parts, and for a grand finale, dumped all of the puzzles and games, too.  She doesn’t allow the children unfettered access to art supplies, paper, scissors, or crayons, either.

On the other end of the spectrum are families with dedicated game rooms that look like FAO Schwartz (do they still have those?  All I know about fancy schmancy toy stores I got from movies.)

Is there a happy medium?

I think there can be, but it takes some thought.

I actually have two methods I use.  The first one is called “Desperation“, and it goes like this:

Get trash bag.  Toss anything broken.  Toss anything missing too many parts to be useful (Mr. Potato Head with only a mustache and one arm, I’m talking to YOU.)  Toss anything that came free with a meal or is based on a cable cartoon.  Throw away toys that annoy you.   Then throw out the toys that annoy your kids.  This is the quick and dirty method.

But there is a better way.

Play is a child’s work.  It’s how they learn about themselves, about others, about society.  As Fr. Medley said this weekend, the family is a “sacred sanctuary, a greenhouse of love in which children are sheltered and can grow.”  Playthings are a part of this.

And so, when cleaning out the toy box, prayerfully consider virtue.  Keep those toys that will emphasize or allow your children to  grow in virtue, and dispose of toys that do not promote good things.  Set aside the few toys that are truly treasures, then reconsider all the rest.

For example, if you wish your children to have compassion, keep the doctor kits, the vet setup, and the baby dolls.

If you wish for your children to value hospitality, let them play tea party, restaurant, or hotel.

Puzzles and block sets like Legos, CitiBlocks, etc. require patience, precision, and stillness.

If you want to nurture your child’s expression of their individuality, keep the dress up clothes, the toy piano, and doll you color on then run through the washing machine.

If your top priority is teaching community and cooperation, keep out games but wean yourself down to just one set of crayons.  Keep the Little People with their buses and planes and schools.

Quiet contemplation before purging works for me!  For more tips, check out We Are THAT Family.

(And, the Barbies are treasured, so they can stay.  The rabid rubber carnivores?  Yeah, they’re staying too.)

Playroom Purging originally appeared on Mama Says on April 20, 2010. If you see this posted on any other site, please let me know! Leave me a comment on www.milehimama.com

The headlines are screaming about how our Pope knew about the abuse of the deaf children in Milwaukee.  The New York Times gets it wrong; Cardinal Ratzinger (now Pope Benedict XVI) was not in any position to give that priest a “pass”.  The American Spectator has more, as does Jimmy Akin.

But that’s not what this post is about.

This post is about how some of my friends are hurting over this.  How can people calling themselves men of God hurt little ones so?  Does this mean they are not men of God?  How can this happen in our family, how can our Mother Church allow her children to do this to each other?

The Anchoress answers:

I remain within, and love, the Catholic church because it is a church that has lived and wrestled within the mystery of the shadow-lands ever since an innocent man was arrested, sentenced and crucified, while the keeper of “the keys” denied him, and his first priests ran away. Through 2000 imperfect — sometimes glorious, sometimes heinous — years, the church has contemplated and manifested the truth that dark and light, innocence and guilt, justice and injustice all share a kinship, one that waves back-and-forth, like wind-stirred wheat in a field, churning toward something — as yet — unknowable.

Our Church’s founder is divine, but we are witnessing her humanity.  And people are sinners.

St. Peter holds my answer.  Peter, who beheld the very face of Christ and was not faithful.  Peter who said no to God when tested in the crucible of the most important event in the salvation history of mankind.  Peter, who was constant even as others are deserting, unable to believe.

“From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him. ”You do not want to leave too, do you?” Jesus asked the Twelve. Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God.”   John 6:66-68

I am a Catholic not because the Pope is a good person, not because I like the people, not because it’s easy or I like the music or because my mother was.  I am not a Catholic because I need something to do on Sunday mornings or because I think rosaries are nice or because Mother Teresa is inspirational.

I am, and remain a Catholic because I believe He has the words of eternal life.  To whom would I go?  He is the Son of God.  And I believe that He established a visible church, a city on a hill whose light cannot be hid, a Church who continues the mission of the Apostles and inherits their authority.

Please don’t miss Jen’s post on this.  Safe Miracles

Related: please read The Anchoress’s thoughts on excommunicating oneself for the sins of others, too.  Don’t forget Part 2.

On the Milwaukee Scandal originally appeared on Mama Says on April 8, 2010. If you see this posted on any other site, please let me know! Leave me a comment on www.milehimama.com

Anniversary of Our Salvation originally appeared on Mama Says on April 2, 2010. If you see this posted on any other site, please let me know! Leave me a comment on www.milehimama.com

So far, we are life long renters.  I dream and scheme of the day when we will own our own home, but this is not that day, and likely not that season.  We have chosen a different path.

Why are we life long renters?  Partly, it’s because the nature of my husband’s work is such that we move along to a new town or new state every year or so.  Thankfully, he’s moved from new construction to working in shops, so we can stay put.

But a large part of the reason we rent is because we have so many children.  Instead of saving for a down payment, we pay maternity bills.  And instead of vacations, husband dear spends his two weeks a year (when he gets it) on PostPartum Dad Duty.

When I was pregnant with our fourth child, Mr S, we lived in the worst rental house ever.  My husband was working in Nowhereland, Wyoming and this was the only rental available in the nearest own (population: 635).  We didn’t have any furniture except for a toddler bed, a pack ‘n’ play, an air mattress, and one broken chair that came with the house.  We did have our TV, but no cable.  We perched it on an upside down Rubbermaid tub.

The thermostat was broken, so all that spring I would have to go down to the dirt crawl space and manually light the furnace – or blow the flame out, depending on if it was too hot or too cold.  A lot of people thought we were nuts, but you have to do what you have to do.  Believe it or not, that was not the worst feature of the house.  I won’t mention the worst feature because I don’t want to think about it.

Later, when Mr S was but a wee, wee babe, we moved to another town, in New Mexico.  Again we were hard pressed to find a rental.  We stayed (not for the first time) in a motel room that rented by the week, until the kitchenette blew up and we were forced out so they could renovate or finish torching the place or whatever.

We were homeless for a day, found a rental house in a miraculous twist, and lived there for two weeks while waiting for the city to turn on the utilities.  This is where I honed my mad skillz of cooking everything in a crockpot which I washed out in the bathtub and living out of yet another Rubbermaid tote.

Finally, we seemed to have a better job near family in Colorado.  We rented a little duplex from the parents of my friends, 750 sq. ft, 2 bedrooms.  (YES, for six people).  We moved in on my birthday, 2003.  The space was teeny tiny for four children, but it worked for us (and even better, had hard floors throughout, which are easier to clean than carpet!)  The washer was in the kitchen and the dryer was in the living room and there was no air conditioning.

And everyone told us we were done having kids, right?  We had girls, we had boys, we had more kids than most people.  We needed to settle down and buy a house.  Put down roots.  Start college funds.

And then we learned another child would be joining our family and enriching our lives.  And then husband got a layoff.  And I learned to bake bread because flour and yeast were all we had.  And Miss V was born.

And most everyone thought we were out of our minds.  I got a job (actually, two) when Miss V was 6 weeks old.  Husband dear went back to school and also found a job.  We were barely making it and were still crammed into 750 square feet.

Of course we couldn’t possibly even think of more children.   Two bedrooms, three jobs between us, part time school?  What kind of mentally unbalanced people would add to that?

Miss C was born in 2005.  I was promoted to Accounts Manager and quit my second job.  We moved.  And moved again, this time to a new state.  I quit my job.  And Mr X was born.  Close relatives told us they hoped he would be the last, because he was too many.

Mr X, one day old

Another move.  Another baby, sent from God from whom all blessings flow.  Baby A joined us in 2009.

And we still don’t own property.  We almost bought a house in 2000, a nice one with a mother-in-law in the back which could have been rented out.  Again, in 2005 we came close purchasing a fixer-upper, but life intervened and we, well, didn’t.  We had a real estate agent helping us look for houses in 2007, we never found the magical home that would fit all of us and our budget.

What could have been, if we owned our own home?  I have dreams of a homestead and chickens and planting an asparagus patch because I know we’ll be there for more than two years.

We could have had that, some say, if we had been “smarter” about all these children.  If we had carefully planned one, two, or even three at suitable intervals.  Finding and affording a two or three bedroom house would not have been difficult.  We could have had our happy homestead.

What could have been is a life with less beauty, less wonder, fewer messes, less love.

What could have been was a life without Miss V

Without Miss C

Without Mr X

Without Baby A

A life without these babies, who make my soul sing?  A life without these people, fearfully and wonderfully made and placed specifically in my life by the Creator of the Universe, whose angels behold the face of God?

Unthinkable.

I wouldn’t want a life without them.  I wouldn’t miss this life, this adventure, for the world.  And certainly not for a house, not for anything else the world tells me I should have instead of children.

It’s hard to be surrounded by constant demands and small children and never ending chores.  It’s hard to nurse the baby in the middle of the night and then help the toddler who wet the bed and then get up and make breakfast.  It’s nigh impossible to keep up with the laundry and the snacks.

But it would be even harder to live a life full of alone and wonder what could have been.

What Could Have Been… originally appeared on Mama Says on March 28, 2010. If you see this posted on any other site, please let me know! Leave me a comment on www.milehimama.com

These brothers are my boy’s best friends.  Their parents are divorced; they live with their dad and stepmother but
spend weekends, summers, and workdays when school is out at their mother’s house, up the street from me.  Actually, it’s the grandmother’s house, and three generations of the family live there, including three adult children, and three grandchildren.

This week, Houston schools are on Spring Break.  And every day, all day, these boys are at my house.  They are delightful and boyish.  They get along with all of the kids and just hang out with our family.  I can tease and joke with them and they are good natured.  But, it is unusual for them to be over quite so much, from  breakfast to past dinner.  They race home for lunch and return in minutes.

I learned that their mother left.  One day after Christmas, she just disappeared, cut off her cell phone, and they haven’t heard from her since.  One boy’s birthday is coming up, and my Mr P told me that his friend is just sure that his mom will come to his birthday party.  He’s having it at the same place as last year, so she’ll be able to find it.

My heart breaks.

Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat. ~Mother Teresa

Why are these mothers abandoning their children?  Why has it become normal for fathers and mothers to just pack up and leave the little ones behind?  Why do we tolerate this?

A friend of ours has done the same thing.  Met someone new.  Had an affair.  Divorced, started a new life.  New wife, new kids – and the old ones just left behind, barely a phone call once  a year.  I knew him when his boy was just a little thing.  He loved his son then.  Now?  I don’t know.  He doesn’t act like it as the precious years of boyhood and adolescence and early manhood slip past.

Do these parents know what treasure they have given up, when they abandoned their children?

And once I started to really ponder, I realized that I know many, many parents who have just walked away.  And suffered no consequence (aside from, perhaps, court mandated child support).

They are not shamed at work.  Their dating life doesn’t really suffer.  Friendships aren’t broken over the matter.  There’s no ding on the credit report.  There should be, you know.  A big fat asterisk with the footnote, This person shirks responsibility and thinks only of himself.  He sold out his own child.  Get collateral.

When did we, as a people, decide this was okay?

This is not God’s way.  This is not the path to happiness.

Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! ~ Isaiah 49:15

A mother abandoning her nursling?  Unthinkable.  Except that it happens every day, to people we know and love, by people we know and love.

What can we do, as individuals and societies, to turn this tide of abandoned children?  I am not being trite, but love is the answer.

I cannot fix the world.  But I can love these boys.  It’s not their mother’s love, but I will give them all I have.

Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty. ~ Mother Teresa

What can you do today to comfort the sorrowful, counsel the doubtful, love the unloved?  What will you do to lift someone from the poverty of their loneliness?

Where Are The Mothers? originally appeared on Mama Says on March 17, 2010. If you see this posted on any other site, please let me know! Leave me a comment on www.milehimama.com

We switched churches and since Mass is no longer at 4pm for us, this might actually work!

Just a quickie menu plan, today.

Sunday: Frozen pizza, carnitas.  Not real food.  But real quick and better than McDonald’s.  We had a crazy busy day.

Monday: Ground sausage cooked with kale, braised red cabbage, rice.  (No rice for husband dear.)

Tuesday: Hamburgers, fries, sweet potato fries, spinach, yellow cake with chocolate frosting (we’re celebrating a birthday!)

Wednesday: (ASH WEDNESDAY) Refried bean tostadas (taco meat, but no tortilla, for husband) with lettuce, onion, cheese, and tomato.

Thursday: Spicy peanut chicken in lettuce wraps, rice

Friday: Ricotta and chard ravioli, salad (I buy these already made and frozen – processed, but organic!)

Saturday: pork chops, broccoli/cauliflower blend, braised cabbage (or cole slaw, depending on if it’s hot or cold out.)

Sunday: Bison roast, roasted root vegetables (turnip, parsnip, carrot, onion), mashed cauliflower (for husband), green beans.

Don’t forget the Lenten Meatless Meals carnival tomorrow!  Post a meatless meal for Lent (no meat or meat broth, stock, bacon, or meat gravy) and link up tomorrow!

(Eggs and seafood dishes allowed!)

For more menu plans, check out OrgJunkie!

Real Food and Atkins Menu Feb. 15 originally appeared on Mama Says on February 15, 2010. If you see this posted on any other site, please let me know! Leave me a comment on www.milehimama.com

After shopping this weekend, I’m going to use my blog as a force for good.  To all you drivers out there, in the frantic holiday rush:

Road rage is a sin.

36 pages on how driving can affect your spiritual life.  Talk amongst yourselves.

Driving Means Controlling Yourself originally appeared on Mama Says on December 21, 2009. If you see this posted on any other site, please let me know! Leave me a comment on www.milehimama.com

² My soul will boast in the LORD;
let the afflicted hear and rejoice.

³ Glorify the LORD with me;
let us exalt his name together.

⁴ I sought the LORD, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears.

⁵ Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame.

⁶ This poor man called, and the LORD heard him;
he saved him out of all his troubles.

⁷ The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him,
and he delivers them.

⁸ Taste and see that the LORD is good;
blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.

Psalm 34: 1-8

From Whom All Blessings Flow originally appeared on Mama Says on December 15, 2009. If you see this posted on any other site, please let me know! Leave me a comment on www.milehimama.com

1.

Beautiful babies ~ My little niece Nora was welcomed into the Church last Sunday.

2.

I am naive, I suppose.  I never knew that our weapons used depleted uranium (nuclear weapons, sure, but not ground artillery).  After the battle for Falluja, in Iraq, that uranium has contaminated the area.  The Houston Chronicle last Sunday reported that 24% of babies born in Iraq live less than a week because of severe birth defects (SEVERE, like two heads).  I googled a bit, and The Guardian sums it up.

There’s nothing for me to “do” about it.  There’s no petition, no celebrity cause to join, no ribbon to wear, no way I can help.  All I can do is pray.  And I do, for all of these beautiful mothers and beautiful babies that have war etched into their very bones.

Prince of Peace, have mercy on us!

3.

John C. Wright, scifi author extraordinaire and lover of space princesses, puts our deficit in perspective with a post on Million, Billion, Trillion.

A million dollars ago was five (5) seconds ago at the U.S. Treasury.
A billion dollars ago was late yesterday afternoon at the U.S. Treasury. [Note: this was pre-Obama]
A trillion dollars is so large a number that only politicians can use the term in conversation.
Here is some perspective on TRILLION:
Trillion = 1,000,000,000,000.
The country has not existed for a trillion seconds.
Western civilization has not been around a trillion seconds.

Read the whole thing.

4.

The Texas Education Agency has released their recommendations for revising the state’s history curriculum.  I browsed their list of historical figures to be studied, and shook my head at my lack of education.  I don’t know who a few of these people are!

Why would a homeschooler want to know what the public schools are teaching?  We may not always be homeschoolers, and my children’s friends, future co-workers, and future spouses are most likely learning these things!

I am glad to see they deleted Pecos Bill and Paul Bunyun from the historical figures section.  I do hope they put them in the literary figures, where they belong.  The American Tall Tale is a unique cultural form.

5.

Alli has a tooth!  And she sits up!  And she’s learning to crawl!  And, I have no pictures because my children love the digital camera and it needs to be fixed now.

6.

I loved this post at Real Life.  I agree with her that we shouldn’t depend on the Capitol lawn or town square to display a Nativity scene.  We shouldn’t rely on public school choirs to teach the kids carols and hymns.  We should all, as a culture, pass down cultural traditions, not rely on institutions to do it for us.

Keep Christ in Christmas.  Perform an act of love.

UPDATE!!!  Look what my talented sister made for me!

Feel free to grab it for your sidebar if you wish!

7.

The Anchoress has just started to wear a brown scapular, and covering her head at Mass occasionally.  I wear a scapular, and didn’t realize it was seen as odd by many Catholics.  Do you cover your head when you pray?  I’d love to hear why you do – or don’t.

7 Quick Takes originally appeared on Mama Says on December 4, 2009. If you see this posted on any other site, please let me know! Leave me a comment on www.milehimama.com