Little Boy Lost
By Milehimama on Nov 17, 2009 in Faith
Our neighborhood, and the adjecent community, is full of kids. Most kids are good, none are angels, and a
few have been uninvited from playing with my boys.
One boy, and his little brother, stand out. They are always getting into trouble. Not the “stealing cars and burning down houses” kind of trouble, just the general shenanigans of preteen boys. They swear like sailors, are always at loose ends, and don’t listen to adults when I tell them that our boys can’t play with them and they can’t cut through our yard to hop the fence.
See, they were our kids friends over the summer until I had to ban them from playing together. They always encourage my boys to disobey – go too far up the creek, take a walk to the gas station to buy candy, scale fences and cut through people’s yards for a shortcut, just general things that we don’t allow. Every time the boys were with these kids, they were getting in trouble.
And yet, my heart hurts for these boys. They don’t have a mother. Yesterday the older one was walking up and down the street, alone, and it was cold (not frigid, just cold for Houston.) He looked so sad and so lonely. I know their home life isn’t ideal. I wanted to invite him in- but my boys aren’t allowed to play with him!
And, he has no mother. I can’t escape that thought, this little boy with no mama to guide or scold or worry that he’s walking up and down the sidewalks alone.
God tells us to practice hospitality. Not just being nice, but inviting others into our home. (And what to feed them?) Can I turn a blind eye to a little one in need, saying Not My Kid? I know his dad, doing the best he can and muddling through, like the rest of us.
I think maybe he can come over, but they’ll all have to play inside, directly supervised. What would you do?
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This is such a tough one. I had a similar situation with some kids who lived nearby. They were rough kids, watched everything on TV, played violent video games and I noted that when they came by, my own boys always seemed to be, um, less well-behaved afterward. There was bad language and rudeness, and I had to set some rules. The boys decided that the rules made it no fun to play over here, and so we saw no more of them. I was relieved when they moved.
But part of me said that I should have had them in the house, where I could monitor things–I just couldn’t bear the chaos (my kids are loud and crazy enough without the company!)
In the end, I can’t be charitable at the expense of my kids’ innocence. They will learn things in time that I don’t want them to, but not through my doing. I wouldn’t expose myself to a contagious disease out of charity either, as I have to protect my family.
Still, it is a tough call.
Nadja | Nov 17, 2009 | Reply
I would have invited them in (with supervision). When I see someone like that, I know they are starved for attention. When I show them hospitality in the name of the Lord, God can change them. You can bet I set ground rules regarding language, topics of discussion, etc. But I can influence a soul this way. We have ended up taking 4 extra children to Sunday Mass each week. They weren’t getting the teaching in the home, but they knew where they could come for spiritual help. I got the idea when I friend I met in our adult Bible study said she converted to Catholicism because her friend’s mom invited her in and took her to church as a child.
Mary Hennessey | Nov 17, 2009 | Reply
It is a hard call. It also brings up uncomfortable self-contemplation – how much is their naughtiness, vs. MY wanting to be left alone, not have to watch every minute, not be inconvenienced?
Milehimama | Nov 17, 2009 | Reply
Wow this is a hard one to decide and one that I think you will have to make choices on a day to day basis based on each day.
Some days might be harder due to your own personal circumstances.
However it is easy to say when not being the peron who is in the situation.
I am like you though I think how sad it is they have not Mummy. So very very hard for them
Prayer is where I would go and let that guide you on this one.
God Bless
Gae | Nov 17, 2009 | Reply
I was thinking the same thing as I got to the end of your post. I think it’s worth a try to have them visit under supervision for a limited time(say an hour – use a timer). Maybe set some clear boundaries with them. Write up some house rules, post them, and point them out to the boys. They can stay if they abide by them.
Alexandra | Nov 17, 2009 | Reply
I agree with Alexandra – set out clear rules and boundaries and time limits. If they break the rules then they’re banned for a certain predetermined amount of time. Perhaps if they follow the rules, the times they are allowed to visit can be expanded.
Susan | Nov 18, 2009 | Reply
Setting limits is essential, but God does call us to works of mercy and sometimes they don’t happen on our timetable. Listening to God all the time, through all circumstances in our lives is what we all should be doing. (I talk a good talk, but the walk isn’t so easy for me).
Mary Hennessey | Nov 18, 2009 | Reply
Came over from mommylife.net….
I think if God is bugging you with this one, He is probably trying to tell you something.
It’s a tough one though. Pray, ask Him what to do. I would probably talk to my husband and see what he says too.
You could probably have him play with your boys under supervision, set the rules, explain why the rules are in play (for your protection, because we love you etc etc) and stay with the boys as they play. Start with a short amount of time. Maybe add something educational to their play time like a bible movie or something else that your kids enjoy doing, so he can have a taste of your live.
Serve a snack, take time to talk to him. If at all possible have your husband present, invite his Dad over and the other children.
I know, it’s a long mile to walk, but Jesus sometimes requires a lot more of us.
I pray God’s wisdom and protection over you and your family.
tereza crump AKA MyTreasuredCreations | Nov 22, 2009 | Reply
We’ve touched on this. We had a girl across the street for a while. Girl’s mother and stepfather were having troubles, so Mom moved out.
She became best friends with my oldest, next one down had a crush on her, etc. She was never a whit of trouble, really, but…
Mom and stepdad reconciled enough to get a place together, but when I called a while later, Mom had moved in with another guy. She hasn’t called us since, and I “lost” their phone number.
I just didn’t want to have to explain stepparents, teenage motherhood, Mom’s boyfriend, etc.
It’s been almost two years but they still ask about her. I wonder if God’s trying to tell me something.
Heather Price | Nov 25, 2009 | Reply